More Lessons in Being Highly Successful

By Ted Behr, M. Ed., CPCC, ACC

  1. How you do anything is how you do everything

When something you are doing seems small and unimportant, it’s easy to get a little sloppy. You tell yourself, “It’s not really that important.” So you let your desk get cluttered or you only give half effort on a task.  It’s like, “Nobody sees my desk, so what’s the big deal?” or “It’s just a little thing; what’s the difference?”  From that limited perspective, that may be true.  But when you take a look at the larger picture, this way of looking at things can easily slide over into more important areas.

So, if you want to know why you are unsuccessful in the big goals and dreams that you have, take a look at how you do the small things in your life.  What does your desk look like?  Do you get regular exercise?  If you are sloppy in taking care of your work space, then you are going to be sloppy in running your business or doing your job.  If you are not willing to put in the time and energy into taking care of yourself, then you are unlikely to put the time and energy into doing what it takes to write your book or find your soulmate.

But when you are impeccable in doing the small things, that’s going to carry over into how you do the really big and important things.

  1. Focus on giving, not receiving

When you go to an event where you will meet new people, it’s easy to be thinking “I’ve got to get some new leads.” or “I hope I meet somebody who knows about a job.”  However, you will be much more successful if you approach other people with the attitude of “What can I do for you?” rather than “What can I get from you?”  Receiving is great, and I’m all for it.  And most of us are not very good at it; we have to learn to receive gracefully or we will not receive the abundance that is available to us.

But when you are networking for your business or your job search, you want to be developing relationships with the people that you meet. And the best way of forming a relationship with someone is to find out what they need and do what you can to help them get it. It’s having an attitude of service. If you give something to me or help me solve a problem that I have, I am going to want to give back to you. If your focus is on yourself and what I can do for you, that has much less chance of enrolling me in helping you.

One thing you have to watch out for, though, is a mindset of “giving to get.”  This can be a challenge, especially at first. But that doesn’t work. You really have to want to be of service.

(Note: This doesn’t mean that you don’t ask for help. But when you need help, you ask a friend or a colleague, someone you already know.)

  1. Go “all in”

This is probably the most important thing I have learned. To be successful, you have to play at 100%. The term “all in” comes from Texas Hold’em poker and refers to when a player puts all of her chips into the pot, risking everything in order to win big. Does she sometimes lose?  Of course. But if she’s done her homework, learned from her mistakes, she’s going to walk away a winner more often than not.

In order to be successful, you have to be a Warrior.   Warriors are willing to go “all in,” to do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to get the result that they want. To really win in life, you have to play all out and be all in.

Please share your thoughts about these suggestions as well as ways that you have helped yourself be more successful.



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